Category: Let's talk
I've been reading Ken Kesey's "One flew over the kukoo's nest", and if you haven't read it, I would highly recommend it.
It takes place in a psychiatric hospital. The narrator is Chief Brondig who suffers from halucinations. The chief has been on the ward longer than any other patient. He gets along because everyone ignores him. He's made them think he is a deaf mute.
Something he said in the book got me to thinking. He said "But I remembered one thing: it wasn't me that started acting deaf; it
was people that first started acting like I was too dumb to hear or see
or say anything at all.
It hadn't been just since I came in the hospital, either; people first
took to acting like I couldn't hear or talk a long time before that."
My question to you is, have you ever felt invisible? Do people sometimes seem to ignore you, or forget you are there?
I have had this feeling many times. I don't know whether it is a personality thing with me, believe it or not, I am rather soft spoken, or could it be one of the unintended results of blindness.
What do you think? Do you ever feel invisible, and what's your reaction to it, if you do.
Bob
A very interesting subject. Yes, I have read the book mentioned. Until you put that particular sentence in context just now, I never really gave it a thought. I was also soft-spoken as a child. I know that sometimes being blind can also make the sighted world think you have other disabilities along with vision loss, but I guess, it's just a reaction many people have. It is a bit depressing to feel like noone sees you. I've just learned to deal with it, and people don't really do it to me as much as they used to. When they do, I just let it happen.
I feel invisible a lot around here. Online's the only place where I feel even halfway excepted. And I'll admit I have a hard time dealing with it. I always have. I don't do well in groups, but even so, I am generally pretty good at making friends. In high school and before, was when I made my best friends. I haven't made a single real life friend since I came to MN over two years ago and it's an extremely lonely existance. I know part of it's due to me being blind most likely, but other than that, I don't really know why I have not made any friends. I am not popular and I never will be, I'm fine with that. I just wish I had one friend around here.
Take Care,
Dawnielle
Hey being invisible has it's good points, I rather sit here and read the quicknotes and take everything in. I'm more of loner if you ask me which is just how I like it. Anyone can tell you I hardly ever send a quicknote if not at all while I'm on here.
Now I'm not saying I won't talk to you or anything like that but you have got to start the convo because I sure as Hell have difficulty with doing that sort of thing.
I do feel invisible in crowds at times. When I had better vision, this didn't happen as much. But not being able to see makes me tend to stay in one place in a large group and wait for people to come talk to me instead of getting up and walking around. But people don't always do that, so you sort of are alone in a crowd.
First off, I did read this book. I thought it was pretty good.
As far as the invisibility thing goes, I truly think that everyone feels that way at some point or another. I think it especially happens to those who have any kind of disability. This got me thinking of how people seem to think that just because you're blind (or whatever disability it is you have), then that means you must have something else wrong with you too. For instance, when we go out to eat, so many times, the server seems to just want to ignore me, and ask whoever I'm with, what I'd like to eat. Of course, I speak up when something like this happens, but it does get rather annoying. I also remember when I was in school, and people seemed to think that just because I was blind, then that meant that I was deaf, or that I had the mentality of an infant. This, too, got very, very annoying and frustrating.
I've read this book, too, and it's a good one. Interesting topic, Bob. I like it.
I guess I've never really felt invisible, but a lot of that is because I am outspoken. Maybe that's how I learned to be. Whenever I started feeling invisible as a child, I would find some way to get attention, whether it be positive or negative, so then people would have to notice me. Obviously as I grew up I found more positive ways to be noticed than negative ones, but I still tend to do something fairly outlandish when I start feeling invisible. I do often feel alone, even when I'm in a crowd, but that's not quite the same thing as invisible. You can be noticed, and still feel alone.
yeah bobby, I feel invissible in some chat rooms like when i'm in a room with certain people who have their own little clique or inner circle. some times in rooms, I'll say something and those in th eroom just act like i didn't say anything, or they chose not to hear me, and this is with othhhhhhhher blind folk. most of the moderators on there make me feel alienated, ignored, and outsider. I'm not around other people much in real life to feel that way with people i've been around, but im sure it would be that way if i were around other people in person enough. I sometimes feel like the girl in th ecarol burnette skit, if anyone here has ever watched that show. in this one skit, carole burnette played a girl noone ever seemed to notice. she was with a friend, played by vicky laurence, and they had gone out together, and everyone who passed by spoke to vicky laurence but not carole burnette, and when they ordered food in a restaurant, vicky had to remind people that carole was there, and they'd go, oh, sory, I didn't notice. she tried everything to get people to notice her presence. she threw dishes off the table, and she knocked a glass of water off, and someone would say, did you feel a draft? and she shouted, I did it! i didit! I did it! and at the end of th eskit, the other girl had forgotten she was th eone who had invited her out, and said, oh hi, nice to see you, what a surprise. I've sometimes felt like that in rooms. felt just like the girl in the skit.
wonderwoman
It's difficult to ignore a Goth. smile
But, yes,it has happened and anonimity is great for a while.
When Dad died I was ignored by people who didn't know what to say
but that's understandable.
I've been ignored by climbers, who were pissed off
that I'd scaled a few hard pitches, when they'd become cragfast, and had to be rescued.
After I lost my sight, i felt invisible to many, in a crowd or not. i got the same feeling when my best friend died a year and a half ago. I work in one of the busiest cities in the world, new york city, and i usually feel invisible. I was lost in the subway in grand central today for over 20 minutes and nobody was payign attention. I mean I know people are often in a hurry and have things on their minds but it doesn't make you feel very good all the same. even if you try to verbally flag someone down, it still doesn't work a lot of the time.
well, I've never been anywhere near New York, but i've hear most new yorkers aren't very friendly, and are always in a hurry.
wonderwoman
I've met some very friendly and interesting people from New York, that doesn't mean they are all friendly and interesting though.
I'm sure there is a psychological term for the feeling of icilation and powerlessness. Does anyone know what it is? Last night I thought it might be "anomy", but that's not what I'm looking for. Any ideas for explaining this invisibility?
Bob
Anonimity? Or perhaps? Isolation.
The paranoia of others in confronting someone due to
negative past experiences,
or the influence of the media, in creating fear and distrust.